The night of my dad's funeral, his mother (and my beloved Nana) also passed away. Back to back funerals can do a number on a person's psyche, let me tell you.
The good thing is that I'm doing alright. I've used this time to be completely selfish, shut myself off from the world and take a "me" break and find out what's really going on in my head. Since I've taken said action, I've been able to read a lot more (FINALLY), found a job (FINALLY), started blogging for an entertainment site (www.theUrbanSpin.com), and most importantly, I've discovered that my "edit button" is no longer in service. Somehow I feel more and more like I do myself a disservice when I don't speak up on stuff that I know I should. It's been incredibly freeing to finally be able to say what I want, think and feel.
Now I just have to work on doing it when it's inconvenient for me to do so. Word to that.
This time has also allowed me to broaden my horizons spiritually. I miss my dad like crazy sometimes, but I find that the zen precepts of "all is as it should be, nothing is missing," and "at this moment, everything is perfect," are keeping me from going the endless greiving route. Despite all that has happened, I know and understand that I can only live for now - the past is a distant memory and tomorrow doesn't exist - the only moment we truly have is the one right now.
Thanks for sharing yours with me.
Take care, and while you're on the compy, check out www.theUrbanSpin.com. You'll like it. I promise.