So I had a "tough love" session with a friend of mine.
I was on the "wrong end" of the session, but it couldn't have come at a better time. It's funny how God works, and I swear He was speaking to me. I've never felt words pierce my heart and spirit they way that they did when I was told that I need to do better. I need to do better.
I'm so used to hearing how I'm doing well, knowing damn well that I could be doing so.much.more. Instead, I've been holding myself back. I've known that for a while now, but it was wild to hear it from someone else in the way that I did. I almost cried.
So here I stand, in the valley of decision - not choosing between whether or not to do a particular thing per se, but rather making the choice between living MY life or continuing on a path that is laid out for me by others.
So, for the sake of my personal development and growth, I've decided that I'm getting the f outta dodge. And by dodge, I mean Los Angeles. It's been on my heart to do so for years, and after being plagued time and time again by self-imposed doubts and second-guesses, I've decided to take my friend's advice and "shut the f--k up and do it." I'm too comfortable where I am and I'll never really move forward as long as I have an "out" in the form of this house and a family to glean everything from.
Come October, you'll see me in NYC. And if I have to take a Greyhound with $20 to my name and board up with relatives on the way to make it happen, so be it. I'm tired of sitting and talking about what I want to do. I'm tired of giving myself reasons why I can't do it, why I shouldn't do it, and why it's going to be horribly cold and crowded there. Screw it.
My mind is made up. And for those that know me, that's a hard thing to come by.