I was browsing a blog dealing with debt (because I'm manically obsessive about it) and other issues, and I saw this in one of the entries:
"And I think the BIG issue here is that I am not requiring enough of myself. I have let myslef take the easy way out for a couple years. I have not set a major goal for myself. I have not been working toward anything substantial."
I stopped reading and really thought about that for about 48 seconds. I'm extremely guilty of the same. I make all these plans and goals and then don't stick with them. Then I wallow and cry about why I don't have the money to move to San Francisco like I want to. Or why I'm $41K in the hole because of student loans.
Well, and here's hoping, that's the end of that. I'm going to make a plan and stick to it. I'm going to be snowballing and snowflaking my way out of student loan hell which is scheduled to have me trapped until 2021. It's a big goal to start with, but if I don't focus, I'm going to be paying out the ass forever. I at least want to tackle it while my rent in L.A. is $350 a month (I got EXTREMELY lucky). In addition, I'm going to try and chart my progress here and blog more regularly overall. Yes, they will be even more random than they are now, but it'll be something new and fresh for the good folks who stop by to see my ranting (THANKS btw).
Wish me luck...
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
So I lost my engagement ring...
Not that I needed it because the wedding didn't exactly jump off, but today I lost my engagement ring. I blame it on the subprime meltdown that affected my mother's ability to afford our house after my father's untimely passing. This weekend was spent packing up boxes, our lives, and 16 years of memories.
Most of them anyway.
I first realized that it was gone when I was canvassing my room for the final time today, I was initially freaked out. I tried to remember when I'd hidden it with no luck. I called to see if it was with someone else. There's no telling at this point because most everything that was in my room is in a box or piled beneath tons of objects.
I started to freak out just a little bit, but then I remembered a conversation I had two days ago with my current beau. He's a widower and was telling me that he'd somehow lost all of his past wife's memorabilia. At first I thought, "damn, that sucks," but he believes that this was the best for him. He said that losing all those pictures, clothing items, and things helped him to move forward with his life. That thought made me wonder if I was holding on to too much of the past and not moving forward because of it. Not cool.
I decided to charge this one to the game and not worry about it. I wasn't using it and at present, I'm not all too keen on my ex, so hell - it's just gone. Congrats to the lucky SOB that happens upon my white gold princess cut diamond. Sucka.
Most of them anyway.
I first realized that it was gone when I was canvassing my room for the final time today, I was initially freaked out. I tried to remember when I'd hidden it with no luck. I called to see if it was with someone else. There's no telling at this point because most everything that was in my room is in a box or piled beneath tons of objects.
I started to freak out just a little bit, but then I remembered a conversation I had two days ago with my current beau. He's a widower and was telling me that he'd somehow lost all of his past wife's memorabilia. At first I thought, "damn, that sucks," but he believes that this was the best for him. He said that losing all those pictures, clothing items, and things helped him to move forward with his life. That thought made me wonder if I was holding on to too much of the past and not moving forward because of it. Not cool.
I decided to charge this one to the game and not worry about it. I wasn't using it and at present, I'm not all too keen on my ex, so hell - it's just gone. Congrats to the lucky SOB that happens upon my white gold princess cut diamond. Sucka.
Monday, May 19, 2008
It's all just a little bit of history repeating...
This past weekend, while "enjoying" the heat wave SoCal has been slammed with in the baking discomfort of my home, I got the chance to watch Apocalypse Now. By the end of it, I was gifted with something rarely offered with today's fare of comic book guys, 60's TV reinterpretations, and 35+ ladies living the single life: perspective.
Yes, it was my first time watching the movie. I'm 24, the war in 'Nam didn't affect any of my family members directly and I hadn't heard much about it to pique my interest. And despite all of the sideways looks I got when I told people that I got to see Apocalypse Now for the first time, I'm glad I saw it when I did.
After being enlightened on the truth of the Vietnam War – why it began, why it continued, and how America fell victim to a heart of darkness – and seeing this film, I saw the present war in a completely different light. Sure I was always against it from a moral and ethical standpoint, but I hadn't really considered it's affect on the men and women actually fighting in it. I also never considered the parallels that exist between Vietnam and the more recent situation in Iraq.
I believe that a good portion of the general public knows that people on "our side" are responsible for the rise of Saddam Hussein in the 1960's and 1970's only to do a complete 180˚ when he ceased to be useful. I wonder if they remember a similar situation happening with the Viet Cong (or Viet Minh at the time) – an organization that the US helped to build up only to tear down when they no longer fit in with what we thought was best. The order of the day in those decades was fighting the spread of Communism. Today, it's oil. Let's not kid ourselves by thinking this new "war" is about anything else.
I could bog you down with facts, figures, and peak oil (the (not-so-new) explanation for gas prices and why they won't come down), but I don't think anyone wants to hear about it. Too doomsday I guess. What sucks is the idea that this country needs to control, or at least consume, the majority of all the oil that is left in the world and that that oil is underneath Iraq is responsible for the deaths of countless Iraqis and thousands of American soldiers.
What really sucks is that a lot of those soldiers are committing suicide.
When I was first made aware that 1,000 soldiers have killed themselves after returning home from Iraq, I could only naively imagine why. After Apocalypse Now, I have a much better understanding. I can also believe that the number reported could be a low one as they only account for veterans and not soldiers on active duty.
Imagine for a moment what these soldiers see and do at the commands of higher officers and the hands of suicide bombers (or just watch the movie) - villages completely laid to waste, men, women and children killed mercilessly, and countless bombings all over the country. After chewing on that, consider that then they realize what all of the horror is happening for. Not to save us from terrorism (remember, there weren't any WMDs there), not to save us from Saddam (he's dead), not to find Osama (last time I checked, he wasn't an Iraqi). They realize that it's for black gold. Texas tea. The last bits of what took millions of years to produce.
What do you do when you realize that you're basically the muscle of Corporate America and that your commander-in-chief thought it best to risk your life on multiple occasions so that rich men can get richer by controlling oil in a country thousands of miles away? Some opt for suicide, some turn into Colonel Kurtz, and some realize that they aren't fit for civilian life and go crazy. Post traumatic stress is what they call it.
When growing up and learning the histories of the countries of the world, one comes to view a war as something that results from two or more countries having a legitimate problem with each other – imperialism gone wrong, colonialism gone wrong, assassinations, etc. As of late, however, it seems that we have been entering "wars" under the guise of ideas and speculation when we're really trying to take something from someone because we need it. On one level it's robbery. On another, it's tantamount to rape.
But it's only the third world, so it doesn't matter that much anyway.
And you wonder why certain vets yell out "God damn America" in church. I'm not surprised. We have committed some of the most atrocious crimes against other countries over the decades and have turned a blind eye to our soldiers for just as long save those yellow ribbons on the backs of the SUVs of suburbia. How much are we really supporting them? Really?
I'm lucky to be an American. I'm not so sure if I'm proud of it.
Yes, it was my first time watching the movie. I'm 24, the war in 'Nam didn't affect any of my family members directly and I hadn't heard much about it to pique my interest. And despite all of the sideways looks I got when I told people that I got to see Apocalypse Now for the first time, I'm glad I saw it when I did.
After being enlightened on the truth of the Vietnam War – why it began, why it continued, and how America fell victim to a heart of darkness – and seeing this film, I saw the present war in a completely different light. Sure I was always against it from a moral and ethical standpoint, but I hadn't really considered it's affect on the men and women actually fighting in it. I also never considered the parallels that exist between Vietnam and the more recent situation in Iraq.
I believe that a good portion of the general public knows that people on "our side" are responsible for the rise of Saddam Hussein in the 1960's and 1970's only to do a complete 180˚ when he ceased to be useful. I wonder if they remember a similar situation happening with the Viet Cong (or Viet Minh at the time) – an organization that the US helped to build up only to tear down when they no longer fit in with what we thought was best. The order of the day in those decades was fighting the spread of Communism. Today, it's oil. Let's not kid ourselves by thinking this new "war" is about anything else.
I could bog you down with facts, figures, and peak oil (the (not-so-new) explanation for gas prices and why they won't come down), but I don't think anyone wants to hear about it. Too doomsday I guess. What sucks is the idea that this country needs to control, or at least consume, the majority of all the oil that is left in the world and that that oil is underneath Iraq is responsible for the deaths of countless Iraqis and thousands of American soldiers.
What really sucks is that a lot of those soldiers are committing suicide.
When I was first made aware that 1,000 soldiers have killed themselves after returning home from Iraq, I could only naively imagine why. After Apocalypse Now, I have a much better understanding. I can also believe that the number reported could be a low one as they only account for veterans and not soldiers on active duty.
Imagine for a moment what these soldiers see and do at the commands of higher officers and the hands of suicide bombers (or just watch the movie) - villages completely laid to waste, men, women and children killed mercilessly, and countless bombings all over the country. After chewing on that, consider that then they realize what all of the horror is happening for. Not to save us from terrorism (remember, there weren't any WMDs there), not to save us from Saddam (he's dead), not to find Osama (last time I checked, he wasn't an Iraqi). They realize that it's for black gold. Texas tea. The last bits of what took millions of years to produce.
What do you do when you realize that you're basically the muscle of Corporate America and that your commander-in-chief thought it best to risk your life on multiple occasions so that rich men can get richer by controlling oil in a country thousands of miles away? Some opt for suicide, some turn into Colonel Kurtz, and some realize that they aren't fit for civilian life and go crazy. Post traumatic stress is what they call it.
When growing up and learning the histories of the countries of the world, one comes to view a war as something that results from two or more countries having a legitimate problem with each other – imperialism gone wrong, colonialism gone wrong, assassinations, etc. As of late, however, it seems that we have been entering "wars" under the guise of ideas and speculation when we're really trying to take something from someone because we need it. On one level it's robbery. On another, it's tantamount to rape.
But it's only the third world, so it doesn't matter that much anyway.
And you wonder why certain vets yell out "God damn America" in church. I'm not surprised. We have committed some of the most atrocious crimes against other countries over the decades and have turned a blind eye to our soldiers for just as long save those yellow ribbons on the backs of the SUVs of suburbia. How much are we really supporting them? Really?
I'm lucky to be an American. I'm not so sure if I'm proud of it.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
WTF?
So now the 7YO that stole his grandmother's truck has now decided it proper to beat up on said grandmother for telling him he couldn't have any chicken wings...
Jesus be a lap band and a Hot Wheels Track.
This is why I can't have kids. I'm not uber violent, but I believe that a little harsh discipline can go a LONG way.
I weep for the kids, man. I really do.
Jesus be a lap band and a Hot Wheels Track.
This is why I can't have kids. I'm not uber violent, but I believe that a little harsh discipline can go a LONG way.
I weep for the kids, man. I really do.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Stuck on the Demon Box...
I just got Eddie Murphy's RAW.
It's been way too long and I forgot dude was so hilarious and manly in his heyday.
WE ATE THE TOYS, EDDIE!!
---
That Primetime show with Deion and Pilar Sanders is funny as hell. If you get Oxygen, you should watch it. Hilarity.
---
ANTM is starting to irritate the hell out of me. I still watch it religiously, but these broads are a catty mess. I'm glad the season is over. Fatima looks like skeletor, Anya sounds like she has a disability, Dominique looks like a tranny (but she's my favorite for some reason), and Whitney is a bitch (good for her and her plight for the girls with ample frames though). The best part of this show is Ms. Jay - HANDS DOWN! When the hell is Project Runway restarting?!?!
---
I LOVE The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. The news is just boring now. All this ish about Barack and Hillary is draining. I can watch those two white men all day though.
---
Lost is starting to suck. The show is getting to be predictable and irritating. To think I spent all those weekends catching up on four and a half seasons for this ish. Booooooooooooooooooo.
---
I need to go read a book. Sheesh.
It's been way too long and I forgot dude was so hilarious and manly in his heyday.
WE ATE THE TOYS, EDDIE!!
---
That Primetime show with Deion and Pilar Sanders is funny as hell. If you get Oxygen, you should watch it. Hilarity.
---
ANTM is starting to irritate the hell out of me. I still watch it religiously, but these broads are a catty mess. I'm glad the season is over. Fatima looks like skeletor, Anya sounds like she has a disability, Dominique looks like a tranny (but she's my favorite for some reason), and Whitney is a bitch (good for her and her plight for the girls with ample frames though). The best part of this show is Ms. Jay - HANDS DOWN! When the hell is Project Runway restarting?!?!
---
I LOVE The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. The news is just boring now. All this ish about Barack and Hillary is draining. I can watch those two white men all day though.
---
Lost is starting to suck. The show is getting to be predictable and irritating. To think I spent all those weekends catching up on four and a half seasons for this ish. Booooooooooooooooooo.
---
I need to go read a book. Sheesh.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Chuuuuch!
As much as I like to stay out of political news reports, I just HAD to post this. One of Bill O'Reilly's producers gets his ass handed to him by a Catholic priest, Father Pfleger on the subjects of Jerimiah Wright, Barack Obama, Louis Farrakhan, and Martin Luther King, Jr.
It's an amazing thing when truth is spoken to power. Word.
Watch it here.
Take that FOX!!!
It's an amazing thing when truth is spoken to power. Word.
Watch it here.
Take that FOX!!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Ugh
Just read Mo'Kelly's blog on 50 Cent's "beef" with Alicia Keys. I am truly disgusted.
50 is an idiot and is shameless in making himself look even more like an idiot when he speaks to people in interviews. It's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I would add more, but it's only going to be a string of expletives with no real literary value - entertaining or otherwise.
This is the shit that makes me hate hip-hop. Honestly.
50 is an idiot and is shameless in making himself look even more like an idiot when he speaks to people in interviews. It's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I would add more, but it's only going to be a string of expletives with no real literary value - entertaining or otherwise.
This is the shit that makes me hate hip-hop. Honestly.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
I finally have a goal...
Ok, so after a series of unfortunate events, I've decided to get off my ass and seriously pursue getting the hell out of L.A. I love my city and all, but I need to get out of here. I wish I had done that for college, but hey, we all can't be winners.
Anyway, the destination du jour is San Francisco. I'm fresh off of a trip to the north coast of California - which has to be the most beautiful place(s) I've been to date - and I fell in love with the city. Sure it's cold and expensive as hell to live in, but given the clean air, effective transit system and overall groovy vibe, I can't help but want to go.
The fact that a good friend of mine is moving up there this month isn't helping.
I'll be engrossed in job and apartment searching. Y'all be cool.
And BTW - this natural product kick has my hair feeling better than ever. Shealoe is the truth. If only I could make it smell like chocolate...(enter the mixologist).
Anyway, the destination du jour is San Francisco. I'm fresh off of a trip to the north coast of California - which has to be the most beautiful place(s) I've been to date - and I fell in love with the city. Sure it's cold and expensive as hell to live in, but given the clean air, effective transit system and overall groovy vibe, I can't help but want to go.
The fact that a good friend of mine is moving up there this month isn't helping.
I'll be engrossed in job and apartment searching. Y'all be cool.
And BTW - this natural product kick has my hair feeling better than ever. Shealoe is the truth. If only I could make it smell like chocolate...(enter the mixologist).
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
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