Will all the other Hags please stand up?

I've finally come to terms with the fact that I LOOOOOOVE gay men. It was bound to happen first with me living in L.A., then going to FIDM, then working in entertainment. I swear, they are some of my best friends and I've found one that may be one of the funniest people I've seen.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the FABULOUS Drama Dupree!



I could watch this shit ALL DAY. Thank you Fresh for bringing Drama into my life!

Wondering...

I had a "falling out" with a good friend yesterday. Actually, it was more of a "this is why you suck" session where I was the focus. I sat and got to hear how I've changed since going through a broken engagement, the back to back deaths of my father and grandmother, and the stunting of my career.

Hmmmm...

I was proud of myself for not getting defensive. I sat and took it, absorbed it, and calmly presented my rebuttle this morning. Normally, I'm one to say "f*ck it" and sweep the situation under the rug, but truth is, I have changed. I've become more focused on what makes me happy instead of pleasing other people. This shift in my personality has now made it impossible for me to shrug off a berating - especially when I don't agree with what is being said. This was one of those times.

I felt grown up with my newfound unction to take charge and actively resolve conflict.

Score one for me.

EARTHQUAKE!!!

We had one today - 5.7 magnitude centered in Chino. I'm glad I live in L.A.

My Addiction

I've been AWOL. You know why?

eBay.

Damn that infernal auction site. This month, it has managed to relieve me of over $300 and I'm not even finished with what I'm trying to win on that site. I've pledged to stop after the 28th of the month.

So much for my new financial plan...I can't stick with anything. I'm surprised I've been in the relationship I'm in for this long. Seriously.

It all started when I decided to get an ipod to help my time in the gym pass by more quickly. Note: I haven't been to the gym since my car messed up (it was fixed 3 days later). I resolved to find a $40 ipod somewhere and I turned to my old standby eBay. I seemed to have forgotten that once I start, it's extremely hard for me to stop.

My search for the elusive $40 ipod was unfruitful, so I decided to pay whatever I thought was fair given the condition of the piece. I found one - barely used and in a kick-ass color and made it mine - for $130 with shipping. Everything after that is really a blur. I clicked on a random American Apparel ad and discovered that they had an eBay store that sold vintage clothes (I have a "thing" for them). I also found a rare bartending book that my dude HAD to have. Then I found a pair of shoes...

*sigh*

I caught myself mid-spree and added up all the money I've spent on eBay and for the whole month. It's shameful. Extremely shameful. And I call myself trying to go to Jamaica in October.

I'm going cold turkey in August. I hope I don't "forget" about my addiction come Christmastime.

About that car of mine...

It's in the shop...again.

They told me it's the rack and pinion something or other. All I heard was $600.

This isn't much motivation to stay with my much loved high end hoopty. I've been mulling over whether or not to sell it and get a Scion xA/Nissan Versa/Honda Fit/anything that won't break down on me every 4 months, but whenever I get like this, I make sure to talk to a couple of people so that I get my head together and keep my car. I went to work today and did just that.

Around lunch, I told a colleague of mine that my car was back in the shop for the third time this year.

"Why haven't you bought a new one?"

"I'm too used to not having a car payment. "

"When was the last time you had a car payment to make?"

"Never."

"You need to come on over to the adult world."

BINGO. Never in life should a $400/month paycheck deduction in the name of a newer whip qualify me to be an adult.

I'll be waiting on my mechanic to call me so I can hand him a chunk of my Jamaica Fund money. Yeah, it sucks, but it's better than having to do it little by little every month.

Word.

I have a confession...

I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Either that or I'm prone to paranoia when it comes to doomsday scenarios. I watched Children of Men a couple of days ago, and it made me think of a piece I wrote a few months ago about peak oil and its potential to drastically change the world.

It didn't help that I read an article that sounded strikingly similar this week. I think I should sue. LOL.

Anyway, enjoy my earlier rant:

I’m not crazy, I’m just concerned.

Many have said that today, this age, is one of the best to have been born into. Technological advances have made our lives easier and the world smaller. Energy resources have made it easy for us to move around and do almost anything we like to. The majority of us, in America, eat well, live above standard, and generally have good lives.

I tend to disagree. Today, many things are going on that are foreshadowing what is going to be a very difficult time for a whole lot of people. The reality of peak oil and the elevated effects of climate change are threatening a lot of the lifestyle that we have become used to. What’s even more alarming is that too many people have no idea what is going on.

To keep it short, the earth is too hot and major cities and countries are beginning to run out of water (yes, even in the USA), there is less oil available today then there was two years ago even though demand is on the rise, and for six out of the last seven years, the world has consumed more food that it actually produced.

Take a breath, let that sink in, and do the math.

When I say the earth is too hot, I am not referencing the melting polar ice caps which I’m sure we’ve all heard about. I’m referring to the lack of rain that has fallen on much of the world. As it stands today, the city of Atlanta along with the states of North Carolina and Alabama could completely run out of water in less than three months.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/16/us/16drought.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

What happens to them when the water runs dry? Even Boyz 2 Men warned against that. Seriously. And when what the last time is really rained in Southern California? Looking at that map makes me think that we’re not that far behind.

People are already being killed over water disputes in Australia.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7072917.stm

I’m not crazy, I’m just concerned.

On to peak oil. Some of you have heard about it; more have dismissed it coming out of the mouths of people with “Conspiracy” in front of their names, but the fact of the matter is that oil is a finite resource that we are going to run out of. This information is going to be extremely oversimplified, but you can research this topic VERY easily. It’s near criminal if you don’t.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_oil

Christophe de Margerie, the CEO of the French group of Total, one of the largest oil companies in the world, opposed the notion that the world’s capacity to produce oil is going up. It has been predicted that the world will be able to produce up to 116 million barrels a day by 2030, up from 85 million today. According to Margerie, “even 100 million is optimistic.”

To put it in perspective, the United States alone consumes over 20 million barrels of oil each day. China is at over 6 million and is poised to overtake the US in a few years with increasing demand. In totality, the entire world consumes around 85 million barrels per day.

So…there is rising demand, and unstable production numbers that are teetering between just being able to supply the demand actually supplying the demand. We need oil, but what happens when we can’t have it? What happens when we can’t afford it?

Near the end of 2006, the price of oil was $56/barrel. Hurricane Katrina caused a massive jump in the price of oil, landing it at a record (and “unthinkable”) $60/barrel.

As of November 1, 2007 oil is $96/barrel.

There is much debate on when the peak of production will actually be. Some think it has already happened. Some think it will happen in the next 15 years. Point is, it’s going to happen. No one thought it would happen in America when Dr. M. King Hubbert predicted it back in 1956. America is no longer the world’s largest producer of oil. Other countries have followed a similar pattern of discovery, pumping, and depletion. The world is certainly soon to follow. And the world, in turn, will most likely delve into a conflict filled rat race to get their hands on what’s left.

I won’t even start on how many global conflicts going on right now that are the results of the desire to control waning resources. It’s more than Iraq. Think of that huge poverty stricken landmass that is to the lower left of it on the map that has been consistently raped for resources since the age of industrialization. Yeah, that one.

What this means for you is rising gas prices, rising prices in goods that have to be shipped from other places (umm…everything), rising prices in food (because that has to be shipped, too), and the systematic shutting down of suburban communities that rely on having to commute in order to live the lives they have.

So on one hand, there are people running out of water and everyone potentially having to struggle to afford food and necessities. Unless your income increases to reflect the change in prices for the things you need to survive, very bad things have the potential to happen.

Again, I’m not crazy, I’m just concerned.

One thing that is almost never mentioned is population overshoot. As of today, the world is holding around 6,602,224,175 people. In 1856, when America, credited for the first modern commercial oil well, first started pumping oil, the population was 1 billion. Between 1856 and 1930, that doubled to 2 billion. From 1930 to 1970, it doubled again to 4 billion. And now we’re at 6 billion with a growth rate of around 80 million per year.

This growth was at one point feasible because the world had enough resources to allow for it. Now, that isn’t the case.

A similar model can be seen in the deer population in California. Cali is a fairly dry state, but every now and again we have a very rainy year. Because of this rain, there is an abundance of grassy food and a correlated explosion in the deer population. However, in the following years, when we don’t have enough rain to keep the food supply constant, the excess in the population begins to starve for a lack of grass to eat.

I mentioned before that the world has been consuming more food than it has been producing for the last six out of seven years.

I’ll give you a minute before I say this. Breathe in.

We could actually see nearly 4 billion people starve to death in our lifetime.

http://www.countercurrents.org/goodchild291007.htm

Again, I’m not crazy, I’m just concerned. Actually, I’m scared. I’m scared because I don’t really know what I can do about it IF I can do anything about it. I’m scared because I have a family and friends and I don’t know what is going to happen to them. I’m scared because every alternative I can think of is screwed over by one of the things I mentioned in this piece.

Love each other. And whether you choose to keep your head in the sand like we’ve been doing for years or to be proactive, good luck.

End of the Month Tally

As promised a few posts ago, I'm going to keep track of my debt pay-down activity to keep me motivated and to get some of y'all motivated. I think I'm doing fairly well considering that I haven't been on a binge shopping spree. I am, however, using my credit cards way too much - they're supposed to be for bills and gas only. Or maybe gas is that expensive that I'm not noticing???

Either way, I'll be giving regular end of the month updates and posting any new and interesting money management articles/tips/tricks I come across.

I'm using Dave Ramsey's snowball method coupled with the lazy snowflaking method I learned from Florida Chic over at Debt Smack and I think I'm off to a fairly good start:

Starting Balance
CC1 - $0
CC2 - $0
CC3 - $0
Student Loan 1 - $3500
Student Loan 2 - $12204.79
Student Loan 3 - $27000

Current Balance
CC1 - $12.99
CC2 - $79.06
CC3 - $124.05
Student Loan 1 - $3106.91
Student Loan 2 - $12122.69
Student Loan 3 - $27000 (still in deferment)

Since I'm in the habit of paying the cards off every month, my snowballing goes toward my student loans. I'm expecting the first one to be paid off by May '09 or earlier with the added snowflakes. The expected payoff date for the second one is April 2021, but that's going to change very soon. It seems very daunting now to be paying all of this money back, but I keep reading that little by little, it will become more and more manageable.

Looking at all those numbers makes me happy that I don't have a car payment. YAY for 13 year old cars that are still running!

On to new business. I'm hoping to more serious with my writing, so I'll be posting more regularly. I don't know if I'm going to go the schedule route, but hopefully I can give you something twice a week. I'll try and redecorate too. =)

Word.

Something truly life changing...

While on one of my many frequented blogsites, Get Rich Slowly, I came across a link to another blog which has, in the span of less than an hour, changed the way I view the world and the limitations therein. The Art of Non-Conformity is a definite recommendation for those of you who are tired of an average life and are ready to do something remarkable with the time you are given.

I highly advise that you download and read the Brief Guide to World Domination (which the author Chris has made available for free-99) and seriously consider the information he has provided. Based on that manifesto and the article he contributed to Get Rich Slowly, I've made a commitment to contribute to kiva.org and am planning on how to go overseas - right now, I'm really feeling China after seeing the havoc that the recent earthquake wreaked on so many areas. I've always wanted to help, but for reasons I can only attribute to excuses and fear, I never managed to do much of anything after a major crisis hits an ill-prepared and underfunded region of the world.

And I'm still trying to find a way out of L.A. and up to San Francisco. I swear, I need to just jump on a plane and make a way when I touch down. It's about the best plan I could come up with, so I may just go that route. It's all just a matter of time now (*tenting fingers*).

Thank you for your writing, Chris. I only hope you are affecting many, but you have definitely affected me.

Contest Time!

While browsing my "kill your debt" blogs like I like to do, I came upon this great giveaway at John Chow - apparently Market Leverage wants to give away a bag full of stuff to someone who either comments at the John Chow blog or links back to the contest post. Simple enough, right?

Almost forgot - the "stuff" is...

*drumroll*

• Flip video camera
• Market Leverage clothing (shirts, a jacket and cap)
  
• $200 Market Leverage Amex Rewards card
• USB drive that is also a pen
• iPod Nano.

Good luck and hurry up! Contest is over on June 20th.

Perspective

I was browsing a blog dealing with debt (because I'm manically obsessive about it) and other issues, and I saw this in one of the entries:

"And I think the BIG issue here is that I am not requiring enough of myself. I have let myslef take the easy way out for a couple years. I have not set a major goal for myself. I have not been working toward anything substantial."

I stopped reading and really thought about that for about 48 seconds. I'm extremely guilty of the same. I make all these plans and goals and then don't stick with them. Then I wallow and cry about why I don't have the money to move to San Francisco like I want to. Or why I'm $41K in the hole because of student loans.

Well, and here's hoping, that's the end of that. I'm going to make a plan and stick to it. I'm going to be snowballing and snowflaking my way out of student loan hell which is scheduled to have me trapped until 2021. It's a big goal to start with, but if I don't focus, I'm going to be paying out the ass forever. I at least want to tackle it while my rent in L.A. is $350 a month (I got EXTREMELY lucky). In addition, I'm going to try and chart my progress here and blog more regularly overall. Yes, they will be even more random than they are now, but it'll be something new and fresh for the good folks who stop by to see my ranting (THANKS btw).

Wish me luck...

So I lost my engagement ring...

Not that I needed it because the wedding didn't exactly jump off, but today I lost my engagement ring. I blame it on the subprime meltdown that affected my mother's ability to afford our house after my father's untimely passing. This weekend was spent packing up boxes, our lives, and 16 years of memories.

Most of them anyway.

I first realized that it was gone when I was canvassing my room for the final time today, I was initially freaked out. I tried to remember when I'd hidden it with no luck. I called to see if it was with someone else. There's no telling at this point because most everything that was in my room is in a box or piled beneath tons of objects.

I started to freak out just a little bit, but then I remembered a conversation I had two days ago with my current beau. He's a widower and was telling me that he'd somehow lost all of his past wife's memorabilia. At first I thought, "damn, that sucks," but he believes that this was the best for him. He said that losing all those pictures, clothing items, and things helped him to move forward with his life. That thought made me wonder if I was holding on to too much of the past and not moving forward because of it. Not cool.

I decided to charge this one to the game and not worry about it. I wasn't using it and at present, I'm not all too keen on my ex, so hell - it's just gone. Congrats to the lucky SOB that happens upon my white gold princess cut diamond. Sucka.

It's all just a little bit of history repeating...

This past weekend, while "enjoying" the heat wave SoCal has been slammed with in the baking discomfort of my home, I got the chance to watch Apocalypse Now. By the end of it, I was gifted with something rarely offered with today's fare of comic book guys, 60's TV reinterpretations, and 35+ ladies living the single life: perspective.

Yes, it was my first time watching the movie. I'm 24, the war in 'Nam didn't affect any of my family members directly and I hadn't heard much about it to pique my interest. And despite all of the sideways looks I got when I told people that I got to see Apocalypse Now for the first time, I'm glad I saw it when I did.

After being enlightened on the truth of the Vietnam War – why it began, why it continued, and how America fell victim to a heart of darkness – and seeing this film, I saw the present war in a completely different light. Sure I was always against it from a moral and ethical standpoint, but I hadn't really considered it's affect on the men and women actually fighting in it. I also never considered the parallels that exist between Vietnam and the more recent situation in Iraq.

I believe that a good portion of the general public knows that people on "our side" are responsible for the rise of Saddam Hussein in the 1960's and 1970's only to do a complete 180˚ when he ceased to be useful. I wonder if they remember a similar situation happening with the Viet Cong (or Viet Minh at the time) – an organization that the US helped to build up only to tear down when they no longer fit in with what we thought was best. The order of the day in those decades was fighting the spread of Communism. Today, it's oil. Let's not kid ourselves by thinking this new "war" is about anything else.

I could bog you down with facts, figures, and peak oil (the (not-so-new) explanation for gas prices and why they won't come down), but I don't think anyone wants to hear about it. Too doomsday I guess. What sucks is the idea that this country needs to control, or at least consume, the majority of all the oil that is left in the world and that that oil is underneath Iraq is responsible for the deaths of countless Iraqis and thousands of American soldiers.

What really sucks is that a lot of those soldiers are committing suicide.

When I was first made aware that 1,000 soldiers have killed themselves after returning home from Iraq, I could only naively imagine why. After Apocalypse Now, I have a much better understanding. I can also believe that the number reported could be a low one as they only account for veterans and not soldiers on active duty.

Imagine for a moment what these soldiers see and do at the commands of higher officers and the hands of suicide bombers (or just watch the movie) - villages completely laid to waste, men, women and children killed mercilessly, and countless bombings all over the country. After chewing on that, consider that then they realize what all of the horror is happening for. Not to save us from terrorism (remember, there weren't any WMDs there), not to save us from Saddam (he's dead), not to find Osama (last time I checked, he wasn't an Iraqi). They realize that it's for black gold. Texas tea. The last bits of what took millions of years to produce.

What do you do when you realize that you're basically the muscle of Corporate America and that your commander-in-chief thought it best to risk your life on multiple occasions so that rich men can get richer by controlling oil in a country thousands of miles away? Some opt for suicide, some turn into Colonel Kurtz, and some realize that they aren't fit for civilian life and go crazy. Post traumatic stress is what they call it.

When growing up and learning the histories of the countries of the world, one comes to view a war as something that results from two or more countries having a legitimate problem with each other – imperialism gone wrong, colonialism gone wrong, assassinations, etc. As of late, however, it seems that we have been entering "wars" under the guise of ideas and speculation when we're really trying to take something from someone because we need it. On one level it's robbery. On another, it's tantamount to rape.

But it's only the third world, so it doesn't matter that much anyway.

And you wonder why certain vets yell out "God damn America" in church. I'm not surprised. We have committed some of the most atrocious crimes against other countries over the decades and have turned a blind eye to our soldiers for just as long save those yellow ribbons on the backs of the SUVs of suburbia. How much are we really supporting them? Really?

I'm lucky to be an American. I'm not so sure if I'm proud of it.

WTF?

So now the 7YO that stole his grandmother's truck has now decided it proper to beat up on said grandmother for telling him he couldn't have any chicken wings...

Jesus be a lap band and a Hot Wheels Track.

This is why I can't have kids. I'm not uber violent, but I believe that a little harsh discipline can go a LONG way.

I weep for the kids, man. I really do.

Stuck on the Demon Box...

I just got Eddie Murphy's RAW.

It's been way too long and I forgot dude was so hilarious and manly in his heyday.

WE ATE THE TOYS, EDDIE!!
---
That Primetime show with Deion and Pilar Sanders is funny as hell. If you get Oxygen, you should watch it. Hilarity.
---
ANTM is starting to irritate the hell out of me. I still watch it religiously, but these broads are a catty mess. I'm glad the season is over. Fatima looks like skeletor, Anya sounds like she has a disability, Dominique looks like a tranny (but she's my favorite for some reason), and Whitney is a bitch (good for her and her plight for the girls with ample frames though). The best part of this show is Ms. Jay - HANDS DOWN! When the hell is Project Runway restarting?!?!
---
I LOVE The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. The news is just boring now. All this ish about Barack and Hillary is draining. I can watch those two white men all day though.
---
Lost is starting to suck. The show is getting to be predictable and irritating. To think I spent all those weekends catching up on four and a half seasons for this ish. Booooooooooooooooooo.
---

I need to go read a book. Sheesh.

Chuuuuch!

As much as I like to stay out of political news reports, I just HAD to post this. One of Bill O'Reilly's producers gets his ass handed to him by a Catholic priest, Father Pfleger on the subjects of Jerimiah Wright, Barack Obama, Louis Farrakhan, and Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's an amazing thing when truth is spoken to power. Word.

Watch it here.

Take that FOX!!!

Ugh

Just read Mo'Kelly's blog on 50 Cent's "beef" with Alicia Keys. I am truly disgusted.

50 is an idiot and is shameless in making himself look even more like an idiot when he speaks to people in interviews. It's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I would add more, but it's only going to be a string of expletives with no real literary value - entertaining or otherwise.

This is the shit that makes me hate hip-hop. Honestly.

I finally have a goal...

Ok, so after a series of unfortunate events, I've decided to get off my ass and seriously pursue getting the hell out of L.A. I love my city and all, but I need to get out of here. I wish I had done that for college, but hey, we all can't be winners.

Anyway, the destination du jour is San Francisco. I'm fresh off of a trip to the north coast of California - which has to be the most beautiful place(s) I've been to date - and I fell in love with the city. Sure it's cold and expensive as hell to live in, but given the clean air, effective transit system and overall groovy vibe, I can't help but want to go.

The fact that a good friend of mine is moving up there this month isn't helping.

I'll be engrossed in job and apartment searching. Y'all be cool.

And BTW - this natural product kick has my hair feeling better than ever. Shealoe is the truth. If only I could make it smell like chocolate...(enter the mixologist).

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better...

Uncle Ruckus gets his own reality show:

Because it's my civic duty to post this...

Feeling good, feeling great...

MAN! Today was a good day and I'm feeling like the universe is trying to prepare me for something. No sooner than I had posted my last entry, I got a phone call from a placement co that I signed up with after my stint at FIDM (back in SEPTEMBER). They wanted to forward my resume to a company. A company that I would LOVE to work for. I submitted. I got an interview.

Stellar, right?

Soon thereafter, things at my present employer started to happen that made it look highly unsavory to me. Missing money from my paycheck, headbutts with coworkers, little things here and there. Coincidence? We'll see.

I'm so excited that I even got to interview. Getting this job would mean finally, FINALLY, beginning my career.

*sigh*

I'm so excited.

Outside of that, I've made the decision to only use natural products in my hair, so no more store bought stuff for me. I just got 2lbs if shea butter (they were like, $4 each!) and some oils from Madina and am excited to see what happens to my hair and skin in the process. I've heard such great things.

Overall, today was a good day. Tomorrow, I'm headed out to Debut, the FIDM fashion show featuring the 3rd year fashion design students and Saturday, I have a wedding to go to.

Life is feeling better. I like it.